SFP to Return to the Pro Ranks

I am happy to announce that after talking with my children, my family and my closest friends, I have decided to return to blogging about professional cycling in order to raise awareness of the global blogging burden.

This year alone, nearly eight million people will die from reading poorly written blogs worldwide.... It's now time to address these blogs on a global level.

Millions more will suffer in isolation, victims not only of the poor writing but of poor bandwidth. After the passage of Proposition 15 in Texas, a $3 billion investment in the fight against cycling-related blogging which is helping to make this part of the national online dialogue in America, it’s now time to address blogging on a global level.

I'm going back to blogging about professional cycling. I'm going to try and blog an eighth Tour de France.

Ultimately, I'm the guy that gets up. I mean, I get up out of bed a little slow. I mean, I'm not going to lie. I mean, my back gets tired quicker than it used to and I get out of bed a little slower than I used to. But when I'm going, when I'm typing away on my keyboard – I feel just as good as I did before.

Later bitches!

Excuses Excuses

This is a new concept for SFP, the interactive post. We're looking for some specific feedback from all you MABRA racers. To wit, we're attempting to compile a master list of all the excuses we come up with to justify our crappy performances on race day.

For example, here are some standards:

"I got boxed in during the sprint."

"This guy totally knocked me off my line."

"I started to cramp."

"I got a bad starting position."

"All the cat 4s in the race kept getting in the way."

Et cetera.

What we're looking for you, our vast MABRA reading audience, is your own favorite excuse, and if you'd care to share, what that really means. (i.e. I got boxed in = I am not a fast sprinter.)

So hit the comments section or email them to our editorial interns. Let's see what you come up with. We'll post the best (worst) excuses in an exclusive SFP special investigative report.

What's in a Name?

We here at SFP occasionally manage to ruffle some feathers. Whenever someone is upset by the trivial drops we put into the vast ocean of worthless blogs, a call against the anonymity of SFP surfaces. Note the following comment that appeared in the last post:

Most people who offer this type of writen flagellation of someone elses performances' have the balls to use their real names. Not knowing the rider or you I don't know if your critique spot on or if you are qualified to render such opinion. Your blog is instructive, well written, and entertaining, and humorous but suffers from its anonymity. That does not seem to bother you so I don't expect my comment to either. Just one person's two cents.

I am always curious to know why people ask questions they already know the answer to. He recognizes that we are not bothered by our pretense, but takes a dig at it anyway. Though that little query is a digression, let us move on to the issue at hand.

Don't imagine that this post has been written because we are in any way bothered about running a masquerade. We must, however, recognize that we have a growing audience that may not have a full understanding of why we operate in the way that we do. As such, an explanation of the secrecy may be in order.

When bloggers are criticized, readers always want to know who is saying the terrible, horrible, no good, really bad things about themselves or their friends. We can't begrudge that curiosity, but we must resist an unveiling. The moment we are outed, this forum loses its ability to offer up any useful advice. While many take aim at our delivery methods, few seem to find flaw in our analyses. If our identities were known, the level of discourse would devolve into the sophomoric. It would become a matter of pointing out the racing and training shortcomings of our cadre in retaliation. We are well aware of our own inadequacies, thank you very much; hence the faux in our title. We aren't interested in posting our own imperfections, just in exploring why others do. Principally this is for our own amusement, though its nice to know we are imparting our accrued knowledge to others.

If we were to post under our actual names, we would either be ostracized or we would be holding back on what we really think. Cycling is a sport where having friends helps, and it would not be in our own interest to alienate ourselves from people we see regularly. Posting as ourselves, we would be forced into moderating our commentary, which would cause ours to devolve into yet another nauseatingly boring bike-blog. We always wanted to be the antithesis of that. Our anonymity provides the guise that gives us weight. We're more of a presence as a nameless mass than a specific list of individuals. Honesty in identity would lead to dishonesty in writing. Honesty (of the brutally harsh variety) is what, we hope, sets us apart. Otherwise, we'd really be two-faced.

Oh, and since Kyle is away this week we decided to post the Hump Day picture for him.

Dance with What Brung You

When the well of inspiration runs dry, it's time to get back to the basics. Go back to what got us started on this little adventure in the beginning. SFP began with a mission of calling out BS, it's what we do best. For a while there over the winter, nobody supplied BS better than this guy. Coincidental with SFP's rise to global dominance, he toned it down several notches, maybe because he remembered something: racing is more than just numbers. He perhaps realized that just because he puts his mileage and power numbers in our faces that we (a) don't care and (b) are not impressed with his slavish devotion to his hobby.

Well actually, we don't think that dawned on him at all. We're glad to report that he's back with a vengeance now that a category 2 upgrade is on his radar screen, and SFP is prepared to bring him back down to cat 3 pack fodder.

Brian, get ready.

First off, what are you looking at in the picture at the top of the blog? Eyes front! The rider behind you gets it. Perhaps not coincidentally, he won the Reston crit while you finished 5th. It looks as though you have snapped a wire trailing off the front of the handlebars. Uh oh, no power data! How will I know how good I'm racing?

Now, let's look at upgrade points. You are kind enough to supply all of your race results right there for us to gaze at awestruck, not least by how ordinary they are; a single podium, back in March. By our count, you have 21 points. Washington County race isn't going to count as a stage race. It's a points race, not a race based on time. Training races do not count either - so be glad you put all that effort into them. Not awful, but certainly not exactly storming your way into the elite level either. With just a few races left this year, it may prove difficult to get that upgrade. There are sure to be lots of cat 3s looking for those last few points. Though, you may well win the cat 3 BAR simply by having participated in every single event. (As have so many other cat 3s over the years, where are they now?) You have all the makings of an over-trained, overenthusiastic cat 2 headed for a few more years of being pack fodder before you quit cycling and move on to the next thing -whatever that may be. Ultimate Frisbee perhaps? Maybe adult kickball? I've seen a resurgence of bocce leagues lately.

"The mileage my last six weeks was: 335, 300, 307, 290, 360, 275, 345 – and that included a lot of racing and 4 different double race days. I know it's a lot of mileage. I got off track in April and decided to hit it hard. It worked well. I raced pretty consistently and scored in the really important races: TOWC, Reston and Hagerstown."

Funny how 'consistency' is not exclusive to being successful; it applies equally to mediocrity. Those race results are really nothing to write about. Sure, that's some mildly impressive mileage and so forth, who wouldn't love to go out and ride all the time? We here at SFP might caution that it's all that mileage that is keeping your results in the rather ordinary zone. Do you think the top cat 1s do all those miles right through the season? You might be surprised to find out that they do not. By the time the weekend rolls around, you've ridden your legs off and you just don't have it. This quote is very telling:

"Nate jumped so I decided to take his wheel and get a free ride up to Ryan. As expected, the pack started chasing me / us hard. As we came up to Ryan on the back, the front of the pack was coming hard. I pulled way off to the side, making the decision that they would catch us too soon and Ryan had been by himself for awhile."

Turns out that you had a shot at being in the winning move of 3 guys, but you gave up. You didn't think you had the legs to gut it out. It became a winning move of 2, minus you. If you are going to go up the road, you have to be committed to it. Don't throw in the towel until the pack is right on your wheel, you never know what will happen. It sounds like mental as well as physical fatigue, like you just couldn't quite focus enough to get the job done.

Your Hagerstown write-up is full of I'm tired, I made mistakes, etc. This should be a clue perhaps that you need to back off all those miles. Stop obsessing over your numbers and start concentrating on really racing your bike. Don't just think about how to work hard, but how to win. That's what will get you the upgrade. Simply pedaling mile after mile will not. You want to come out and play in the senior ranks full-time? You better learn how to actually finish off a race and take the top step of the podium. Before you can even consider a Cat.1 upgrade, you need to learn how to win, not how to come close.

There's Pro, and there's Italian Pro.

from cyclingnews.com

A Dutch journalist asked Pozzato why it was that so many Italian riders had to have their own special designs on their helmets shoes and frames, instead of the stock team issue that the rest of their team rode. Pippo's reply was short and to the point: "Because we are Italian and we have style."

Amen to that, mio fratello.

There's no arguing with that really, is there?

None whatsoever. If you can't grab a stage win, at least make sure you look good. (We're looking at you, Team Columbia/High Road. Where did that kit come from? The clearance section on Nashbar.com??)

This, however, might be going too far.

Too Much Caffeine

And you guys thought we were mean. Clearly we have nothing on the coffee pros:

See this

and this

We should see if these guys race bikes...

Baby Put in a Corner

Now that the dust from our protracted hostile takeover battle with GamJams has settled (see yesterday's media coverage) it's time to get back to what we do best. We have upgraded our critique to that most eligible target, the recently upgraded cat 3. Once upon a time you had to be good to upgrade to cat 3, but now they let you upgrade just for showing up all summer. But that's another subject for another fine SFP entry. We digress. Bring on the dessert, a nice big slice of humble pie:

Hagerstown Results

Thanks to those who offered advice prior to the race. All of your advice was spot on, but I had to experience it for myself I think to really understand.

Of course you had to experience it for yourself. Know why? Because this is the first time you've been in an actual race. Before doing a 1/2/3 event, you have only been in race-like situations and the advice you were given were only abstract ideas to you. Welcome to real racing, it hurts. Don't expect it to ever feel comfortable.

Hagerstown gave me an appreciation for the speed of 1/2/3 races as well as motivation for training. As BJ Basham noted on his race preview, there was a small rise in the course that did wear on me after while (like after the 2nd lap), but actually...I found that the hardest section of the course for me was into the wind / crosswind on the opposite side of the course. That surprised me because in our warm ups I didn't recall feeling the wind, but it was hurting me as I rounded that corner. Another thing that surprised me was the degree to which the accordian effect played out even in the 1/2/3. I was expecting smoother cornering, but I found myself having to slow down and then accelerate. By the time I figured all of this out, wasting far too much energy than required for the first 4 or 5 laps, I got caught behind a crash early in the race. A gap opened up and several of us never bridged it.

The "hill" bothered you? That thing was a speed bump. The real problem, as you note later, is in your cornering. If you carry any speed through the bottom corner, it's a nothing hill. You had to stomp on those pedals at a lower speed than your competitors. I guess that would get tiresome. We'll address more of your cornering concerns later.

Out of the gates, I started out on the front of the pack but I found myself drifting back quickly. For example, in prepping a smooth line for a corner, I'd brake ahead of the turn to allow myself some room to rail the corner coming out with more speed, but as I let a gap open up prior to the corner, other riders took that opportunity to move up in front of me and then I'd have to brake, lose my momentum and accelerate coming out of the corner. So, I found myself moving back quickly, not so much because I was going that much slower, but because I wasn't jumping quickly enough to stay on wheels.

The biggest problem with 3's racing with the P/1/2 crowd is illustrated perfectly in this paragraph. You all know how to get to the line early for a good start position, you have to do it for all of your races and you figure it is a good strategy for a 1/2/3 effort. For you personally, it is. However, the rest of us have to deal with a bunch of guys that aren't comfortable cornering at the speed required being up near the front, opening unnecessary gaps, not trying to become an active part of the action, and generally getting in the way until their fitness-level fails them and they get punted out the back. I'm not proposing a solution; you guys pay your entry fee (i.e. our prize list), but if you know you are getting worked over please try to fall back in position without giving someone else a gap to close.

Now, let's talk about your cornering. What jumps out at me is that you "brake ahead of the turn to allow some room" and were surprised that people filled the opening you created. How do you expect to carry momentum out of a corner if you are scrubbing speed before you enter it? I'm going to run out of new and exciting ways to tell people to locate their balls. You will continue to fall behind if you don't learn to take on a corner with full speed, in close proximity, and with confidence in the people around you to do the same. You were falling behind because you were going slower, you shouldn't have to jump to stay on wheels.

takeaways from this one
1 - jumping more quickly to stay on wheels and to not lose ground and staying closer to the front in the early laps of the race

This is true if a gap opens, close without hesitation. However, the big picture solution is not to let it open in the first place.

2 - quicker processing on how to ride the course...ie. on riding the outside line coming around corner 4 to stay out of the wind

Not a bad idea, but don't over simplify. Different lines have different merits, and position yourself based on what you are trying to accomplish.

3 - riding better lines on the corners

Please, for the sake of all of us! And tell the rest of the 3's that think they belong.

4 - improving fitness so that the first (3) items aren't so critical to me lasting in a race.

This is the most important, simple, and correct lesson anyone can learn.

One thing that sort of urks me a bit is that I know these things from past "lessons", but I didn't execute. I think that I would have had a better shot at sticking around for the duration of the race had I just focussed on some basics. Also, of course, I have some work to do with my fitness level and when I improve my fitness, I won't have to do everything so perfectly in the race just to survive. Lastly, I was amazed as I sat on the sidelines watching the race to see the strong guys out front attacking. This sort of puts it right in your face...the difference in fitness levels. Here I am watching guys attack off the front full into the wind after I just got dropped off the back.

In any case, I'm psyched for the new challenge.

Glad to see that you are not ignoring your fitness as a factor in your DNF, it's easy and comfortingly self-delusional to pretend it was a mix of other intangible factors. In the insular world of lower category racing, it's easy for racers to think of themselves as big shots. Glad we could give you a reality check. In other words, welcome to Thunderdome.